Sunday, July 18, 2010
This is a blog for every women who is married or who wants to get married someday. I have noticed a severe change in the way people view household roles. And it is not a good change. It seems that a lot of Christian women have forgotten the rules God has given us to be good wives. First off let me say that I'm only 20. I'm not married yet, but hopefully will be next summer. Also I believe that everything God's Word says is true and that every Christian should take into account what it says and follow God's Word even if they don't like what it says. My Sunday school class at church recently did a lesson on godly wives. So some of the information I have is from that, but also from personal study.
1) Ephesians 5:22-24(ESV)
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands."
First I'm going to define the word submit.
Submit: Willing to give yourself up for your spouse, sacrifice, voluntarily placing yourself under another's authority. In other words when you chose to marry your husband you are also choosing to place yourself under his authority. No questions asked. Even if you think your husband is completely wrong you are to follow him and support him.
God placed the husband in authority over his whole household, and his wife is supposed to submit to him just like the church is to submit to Christ.
2) I Peter 3:1-6(NIV)
"Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."
Now one of the main themes I got from this passage is inward beauty. This means that a godly wive will have good character, a good heart (one that possesses the Fruit of the Spirit). Now these verses are not saying that every woman needs to give up on her outward appearance and start looking hideous. These verses are saying that it's what's inside that should draw the attention of your future husband, while outward appearance is a plus, but not the main focus. Another section of this scripture is at the beginning. When we were doing the lesson in Sunday school, my instructor brought up a very good point. It seems that if there is a couple where one is saved and the other is not (or they both start out unsaved and one comes to Christ during their relationship), usually the female has a relationship with Christ. And we are supposed to win them over(show them God) not by words but by the purity and reverence of our lives, through our gentle and quiet spirits. Now how do you define a woman who has a gentle and quiet spirit? How about this? How do you NOT define a woman with a gentle and quiet spirit? This woman (the one who is not gentle and quiet) is the aggressive, domineering woman. The woman who always has to be in control and is always telling her husband what to do and how to live his life. This is NOT the way a Christian household should be run. God put the husband in charge of the household and gave him the authority to make the household decisions. And wives are supposed to trust God through every decision that is made even if it sounds like a bad decision. We can't be supportive of him one minute and the in total disagreement with him the next. All of these things are the things that God looks for in a godly woman/wife. And these are the things that are pleasing to him.
3) Titus 2:3-5(NASB)
"Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored."
This scripture is focusing on how older women need to be examples to younger women. And by older women I don't mean 40's and up. Every one is older than someone. Everyone is going to go through similar things that you've gone through and they are going to want advice. And the reason we are able to give advice is because we have experience. But, to be able to give sound advice you need to be a firm believer in the Word of the Lord and follow it's instructions. We can't be focusing on the things of the world, like gossiping or getting drunk(only a couple things of the world that women become enslaved too). As older women we need to be good, GODLY examples to the younger women in our lives. Notice that one of the characteristics is to be workers at home. God placed women in the home because we are naturally nurturers. We are naturally able to take care of our home and care for our children. Not to mention women are incredible multi-taskers. We are able to comfort a child that's hurt while cooking dinner(there are probably better examples out there, I just couldn't think of one off the top of my head because it's something we just do and don't really think about). If my boyfriend tried to multi-task he would either get a head ache or forget about one thing completely while focusing on the other.
Now why are we supposed to be good examples to younger women and teaching them what's right while doing what's right? Because if we don't we give others a reason to revile God's word and are dishonoring and blaspheming it ourselves.
4) Last Scripture: I Corinthians 7:3-5(NIV)
"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
Now it's kind of obvious what these verses are saying, yet there are so many people who don't understand what this is actually saying and that they really do NEED to do what these verses say. Well here it is: Once you get married, your body is no longer yours. It is your husband's and you (as his wife) are to fulfill his needs whether you want to or not. And it's the same for your husband's body. That belongs to you once you marry him. "I'm not in the mood" is not a good excuse. Now if you are ill, or if you are exhausted, or need to study God's Word, your spouse should understand. But, other than that you need to fulfill his needs. It's another one of your duties as his wife.
Once again I'm going to inform you that 1) I'm only 20 and 2) I'm not married nor have I ever been (will be soon hopefully). I was extremely excited to learn about this through Sunday school and personal studying though. And I believe every word of the Bible. So this is my opinion on what a godly wife should look like.